s you mature, you may start thinking about fumbling in between the sheets with someone for the first time. In addition to this, there’re probably millions of questions going through your mind like, ‘How does it feel’, ‘How to handle any anxiety’, ‘How to be protected, and more. The thing about sex is it’s something people do every day, but we don’t know exactly how to talk about it.
So, let’s get straight to the point. Sex isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s something that offers you a lot of fun and joy, but only if you feel 200% ready when decided to do it. Of course, the idea of losing it can be nerve-wracking, but you’re not alone. At one point or another, I guarantee you that everyone has felt the way you do — it’s totally normal, valid, and right.
So, you’ve never had sex before. That’s cool. And it’s even better since you can do a lot of homework before going to that field. For you to make your first time as pleasurable as possible, here’s our special recipe that can help.
Do it for the right reasons
Ask yourself, ‘Am I ready?’ You have to feel confident in the decision you make, and it has to be about what you want. If you’re feeling pressured by your partner to do anything sexual, this is the red flag signaling that your relationship might be unhealthy or possibly even abusive. At the very least, you should feel like your bae respects you and values you.
Despite all your friends are doing it, there’s nothing wrong with waiting. You’re the only one who will know the right time. Trust your intuition.
Choose the time thoughtfully
Even though it’s pretty easy to get caught up in the moment (hot body, right mood, empty dorm room) when things start to get heavy, first time sex shouldn’t be something that just occurs.
It’s crucial to look for a safe, private spot where you’ll feel relaxed.
Surely, you don’t have to plan it all out and have romantic music and candles, but it’s crucial to look for a safe, private spot where you’ll feel relaxed and you aren’t likely to be disturbed by your parents or nosy roommate.Location must be comfortable and stress-free so that your shared experience becomes really special.
Understand safe sex practices
Romantic spot? Candles? Check. Hm, what are we forgetting? Condoms — that’s right, because, you know, a girl can get pregnant the first time she has sex. Nothing can be more distracting than worrying about sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. Even if it feels cringeworthy, it’s so important to talk this over with your partner before you start to have sex.
When we say ‘safe sex’, we mean you must make sure to be on the pill or have an implant and use a condom. ‘Double protection?’ You ask. Absolutely! Wear a condom even if you’re on another form of birth control to get protected from STIs unless you’re both monogamous with each other. More people than you think have those nasties in their panties.
Protection is important, but does the selection seem too overwhelming? When women have vaginal sex for the first time, it can be a little uncomfortable (but this isn’t always the case), therefore, we recommend trying a lubricated condom. It helps to ease any possible discomfort and make the in-and-out more pleasurable.
Have realistic expectations
Try not to focus on what you’ve learned about virginity loss from Netflix teen shows, movies, or even your friends, because in real life, people’s experiences can be a little clunky awkward. Get rid of any expectations — the first time we have sex isn’t always magical (weird sounds and clumsy things happen).
When setting your goals, think about communication and how you will tell your partner what is working for you, what isn’t and what you would like to try. And remember, do not compare your experience with anyone else’s.
Communicate what you want
It might be weird. It might be stupid. Who cares! Talking to each other about sex is a must. This includes opening up about what this sexual encounter will mean to you, if you’re in a casual or serious relationship, if you and your partner are planning to sleep with other people, and, finally, what are your desires and needs.
It’s always a better idea to start talking about sex early on in a relationship because the longer you wait, the harder it’ll become. This is not going to be an easy conversation, but you need to make sure you’re on the same page.
Foreplay, foreplay, and foreplay
Since we’re speaking openly about sex, it’s significant to understand why foreplay or prelude is the key to a pleasurable experience for people of all sexualities. Handjob, blowjob, touching each other, and old-fashioned kissing — can be all considered as foreplay. Traditionally, it’s sex act with no penetration.
Before moving on to the main even, exchange massages, get lost in rounds of seemingly endless kisses, and run your fingers over every inch of their skin. Spend more time getting comfortable with your partner. To indulge even more, try using some foreplay enhancers, like clitoral balms or nipple play gels. Make time for it.
Lube is your best friend
If stress can have a big impact on your natural lubrication production, you may want to consider using a personal lubricant for a smooth and enjoyable first-time experience. Lube is basically designed for penetrative sex, since it decreases the chances of friction or pain. This is the reason why it is advisable to have on your night table. If you’ve never tried it before — how will you know if there’s any change.
If you’re having vaginal sex, once you bring a condom (mainly, latex one) in to the mix, water-based lube is your safest bet to start with (ideally, we have best ones here). The reasons are simple, these are naturally hydrating, easy-to-clean up, and suitable for people with sensitive skin.
Whether you’re straight, gay, or anything in between — we hope these main tips will help to ensure your first time is fun and enjoyable. Really, there’s no one right way to lose virginity, but you can try your best.